


The lucky one

by ylc



Series: Taylor Swift's song inspired AUs [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Romance, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, band!au, everyone is human, mentions of depression, mentions of past character death, mostly sabriel with side destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ylc/pseuds/ylc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam reflects on the life he thought he wanted, the one he has and the part Gabriel played in it all.</p><p>Sort of sequel to "Long Live", but with some flashbacks. Mostly Sabriel with some hints of Destiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> I swear one day I’m going to sit down and finish the “mine” one-shot. I swear.  
> In the meantime, I’ve managed to write 14 Taylor Swift’s songs inspired one-shots (because I thought I didn’t have the time or drive to write a long fic). Oh well...  
> In retrospective, listening to all of Taylor Swift’s albums might not have been my greatest idea.  
> Oh, just one last thing! I might have messed up the tenses (I started writing in present tense and then switched at past and back to present) and although I checked it, some mistakes might have slipped, so, let me know if you find something.

Sam wanted to go to college. Ever since he was a little boy he knew he wanted to be a lawyer and by the time he got into high school, he had already figured he wanted to go to Stanford. He made sure to get the grades for it, saved money from his summer jobs and looked for information about grants. When he graduated high school, he was pretty much set on going to California; Dean had already helped him to find a place to stay until he figured out more permanent living arrangements.

Leaving wasn’t easy, though. He was nervous, because he had never lived on his own and he knew that as much as he hated his older brother fretting over him, he was going to miss him. Still, seeing Dean didn’t spend much time around anymore (he and Gabriel managed to get gigs at least once a week), he figured it wouldn’t be as bad.

His plans changed dramatically the night before he left for California.

Dean managed to convince him to go with them to a gig. It was fun, but at some point Gabe convinced him to sing a song with them. After that… well, the night ended in a way he couldn’t have predicted.

That was the night they met Crowley. Crowley, who was one of the biggest names in the music industry approached them, praised them and offered them a big contract. Sam tried to refuse, he had plans that didn’t include signing with a record label, but all that took for him to agree was Gabriel batting his eyelashes coquettishly at him (even if the older male was probably just kidding, Sam couldn’t control his ridiculous crush that made him do whatever it took to make the other smile at him)

He didn’t regret it, though. He wasn’t made for the life on the road and he didn’t quite enjoy the attention as much as Dean and Gabe did, but he liked the turn his life had taken. He liked traveling with his brother, and the concerts, and the parties.

He also enjoyed very much having Gabriel around.

Except that their new way of living meant little privacy. He always knew Gabriel “dated” a lot. Back in high school, every girl and some boys could tell you some sordid story of a hook up, but knowing is not the same as seeing. Sam made sure to lock himself in his room whenever his brother and Gabriel went out at night and he purchased some soundproof earplugs, because his heart couldn’t really stand it (and also, hearing his brother was just plain gross)

The paparazzis didn’t help either. Reading about Gabriel’s sex life on every freaking tabloid drove him insane with jealousy but there was nothing he could do: he had no right to.

Then Kali happened. Kali, who was funny and witty; smart and beautiful. Kali who was friggin perfect and obviously all Gabriel could ever want.

Sam was under 21 at the time, but luckily for him, age restrictions regarding drinking didn’t really include superstars (or so Crowley said). After every concert, interview, movie premier or really whenever Kali was around, Sam ended up drinking. Dean worried, of course, and tried to talk to him about it, but in the end, there was nothing he could do to help.

Sam tried dating. He met Jessica Moore and he was certain he had finally find “the one”. He proposed, she accepted and then…

Sam doesn’t like remembering what happened next.

After the funeral, he took some time off. When he came back, he was a week away from turning 21.

His birthday’s party was huge. Dean tried desperately to make it enjoyable for him, but Sam’s heart was not really in it. He ended up drinking on his own and when Gabriel came to find him to try to convince him to go back to the party, he somehow ended up kissing the shorter male.

What happened afterwards is a bit of a blur. There was definitely more kissing and some heavy groping and he distinctly remember pulling Gabriel towards a bedroom (that turned out to be Dean’s) and tearing their clothes of. They lasted for about 5 minutes, but Sam still counted it as the best sex of his life.

The next morning, when he woke up and found himself alone, he wanted to throw up. In fact, he did, and he was fairly certain the feeling had little to do with the amount of alcohol he had drunk.

Sam considered retirement seriously. Maybe go back to school. Jess used to encourage him to pursue his childhood dream, but he wasn’t entirely convinced that’s what he wanted to do with his life anymore. He wasn’t sure  he wanted to continue with his career either.

Dean and Gabriel would have found a new lead singer. There were probably thousand of kids out there hoping for such an opportunity. There were people out there who would do anything to be in Sam’s place but he- he just couldn’t.

In the end, he stayed though. And once again, all it took, was Gabriel asking him.

Well, not exactly. Because this time, Gabriel kissed him afterwards and promised him all sort of things and Sam couldn’t (wouldn’t) say no.

Which brought him a ridiculous amount of heartbreak. Finding out Gabriel and Kali weren’t really dating hadn’t been such a glorious revelation, because that was when Gabriel laid out his “rules” about their relationship. At first Sam didn’t mind it; after so many years of pining for the older male, there was literally nothing he wouldn’t do to be with him.

It’s not like Gabriel was ever deliberately cruel. If anything, he was sweet and loving and Sam knew he wasn’t just being played. But it still hurt, being with him and not being with him, because for all of Sam’s love of his privacy and secrecy, he hated hiding.

After the scandal with Crowley and Castiel joining them, things got marginally better. Castiel was awkward at best, just plain weird most of the time, but Sam liked him. Because he didn’t care about niceties and being subtle, he always called Gabriel on his bullshit and pointed out more than once how unfair he was being towards Sam. The tallest male appreciated the support, even if he believed Castiel was going the wrong way about chastising his brother.

Besides, Castiel was a good listener and even if his idea of being comforting was awkwardly patting Sam’s back, it was nice to be around him. Over the years they became quite close and whenever Sam and Gabriel got into a fight, he ended up spending the night with Castiel, just being held. It might have been odd and Gabriel always threw a jealous fit the next day, but nor Sam nor Castiel particularly cared.

Besides, with Castiel’s case of unrequited love for Dean, Sam didn’t feel as bad about his situation. He knew it was selfish and somewhat cruel to take comfort on it, but he couldn’t help it. Also, Castiel didn’t really mind.

The year following Dean’s proposal on national television was a rollercoaster of emotions for Sam: hurt, despair, regret, anger, hope and most of all, the overwhelming love he still felt for Gabriel almost drove him mad. Being under the public spotlight didn’t help either and once again, Sam considered retirement. This time, Castiel was the one to convince him to stay.

When Gabriel kisses him during an interview, he’s glad he did. He’s not sure why exactly, but it certainly makes him feel everything was worth it.

* * *

 

They’re standing at the altar, facing each other. Next to him, Dean is nervously playing  with his tie, no matter how many times Sam tells him to stop. When Castiel enters, his older brother freezes and Sam can’t help to smile. As Castiel makes his way down the aisle, Dean starts relaxing and Sam can barely contain a teasing comment. In front of him, Gabriel smirks.

The ceremony begins and all the way through it, Sam can’t stop stealing glances at his boyfriend. Gabriel wasn’t particularly thrilled about the whole marriage thing (and considering the Novak brothers experience with their parents, Sam can’t really blame him), but he looks happy for his brother. Sam can’t help to imagine what would be like to be in his brother’s place, but he knows it’s all wishful thinking. Gabriel might have finally admitted their relationship to the world, but he’s not ready for such a step.

Sam seriously doubts he’ll ever be.

The thing with Gabriel is that he always wants more. It’s a bit unfair, he supposes, but with every small taste he has of sharing his life with the older male, his desire for something else grows. He wants everything the other has to offer.

Nothing will ever be enough and at the same time, whatever they have will do.

* * *

 

“I’m thinking of retiring” Gabriel tells him that night, once the party is long over and they’ve retired back to their room. Sam was in the verge of falling asleep, but the words bring him to full attention right away.

“What?”

“We could buy a small house in the country. Adopt a bunch of dogs. Maybe some kids, one day.” He makes a pause and Sam holds his breath. He’s not sure if he’s awake after all; everything sounds too good to be more than a dream. “Somewhere away from everything.”

“Would- Would you really like that?”

Gabriel is quiet for a long time. Sam waits patiently. “Isn’t that what you’d want?” He asks him, staring at him in the eye and Sam gulps audibly.

“I just want to be with you.” He replies honestly. Maybe shaping his life around whatever Gabriel wants isn’t right, but it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy the way they’re currently living. It’s not what he imagined he wanted, but it’s the life he has with the man he wants.

Gabriel smiles before kissing him. It’s  a lazy kiss, more feeling that passion behind it and Sam loves it. “So do I” the shorter male says, before leaning in for another kiss, “I love you.”

His emotions threaten to choke him and so Sam doesn’t say anything. It’s too much, but it’s everything he could ever want. He nods, not trusting his voice and kisses his boyfriend with all the love and passion he’s capable of.

The road wasn’t perfect but he loves where it lead him.

And he wouldn’t change a thing.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this series of one-shots, I was mainly a Destiel shipper, who didn't mind some Sabriel in the background. But this whole Band!AU has given me a lot of Sabriel feelings; so many that, remember when I said this would be the last installment of the Band!AU? Well, it isn't.  
> More to come soon enough!  
> Oh, just one last thing. I think I might have messed up with the grammar a little too much... let me know if it's not understandable? I shall try to correct it.

Gabriel would hate to admit it, but he had had the hugest crush on Samuel Winchester since forever. When he met the younger boy the first time, Sam had been practically a baby (fifteen, really) and yet, he had been smitten. He couldn’t tell what exactly was what he liked so much; all he knew is that he liked him more than he had ever liked anyone else before.

Of course he was smart enough to keep his distance. He had been 19 at the time and 4 years seemed like a big age gap at the time. Besides, he had been certain Dean would murdered him if he ever caught him just paying a little attention to his little brother.

So he hadn’t done a thing. He observed the younger boy from afar, content with admiring and not touching. Castiel had called him pathetic, but he had scoffed and pointed out he wasn’t doing much better with his own crush on Dean.

That shut Castiel up for good.

When he and Dean started getting more gigs, he was fairly certain they were heading for a big success. They needed a singer, true, but it never occurred Gabriel to ask Sam if he would like to join them. He knew Sam was a good singer (he might have overheard him singing in the shower when he spent the night at the Winchesters’), but he knew they boy wanted to go to college and be a lawyer.

And yet, somehow, Sam had ended coming with them to a gig and the rest, as they say, is history.

Spending more time with Sam just made things more complicated, because while at first he had just liked him for his looks, now he could see he was much more than a handsome boy: he was funny, smart, witty, sensible and…

Well, he was simply perfect.

Gabriel knew that if he ever acted on his attraction, he would end up falling in love and that was something he couldn’t afford. Dean used to complain about how Sam was such a girl and Gabriel couldn’t help to wish he was. It would be far easier. A random hook up with a male on occasion was okay, but something else? Actual dating? No, that just wouldn’t do.

He had been raised by deeply religious parents and though he didn’t agree with most of the things they believed in, the thought of falling in love with a man scared him. He could justify his hook ups; he had too many drinks, he hadn’t gotten laid in a long while. There was no way he could justify falling in love with Sam.

Besides, he wasn’t sure if Sam was into males. Sam kept mostly to himself, so he wasn’t even sure if he was dating someone. Asking Dean was out of the question, of course: asking Dean would just get him killed.

When Sam got engaged to Jessica Moore, Gabriel thought his problems were over. Now Sam was definitely taken, so there was no point of even thinking about what could be. He liked Jessica; she was pretty and sweet and made Sam happy.

Things just got worse: he couldn’t help the stab of jealousy whenever he saw them together. Jessica knew and she was nice enough to not rub their relationship in his face. Gabriel hated it; he hated being pitied and he hated that Jess was so nice. It would have been easier to hate her if she wasn’t.

But ultimately, it wasn’t Jessica’s fault that he couldn’t have Sam. He choose to never take that risk and now was paying for it.

Then the accident happened. He and Dean rushed towards the hospital, both worried sick for Sam. Jessica died on the impact and according to the doctors, Sam was likely to follow her.

By some miracle, Sam survived, although it was hard to say if it wouldn’t have been better if he hadn’t. He struggled with depression for almost a year, with Dean and Gabriel doing everything they could to help.

Eventually, things got back to normal. Or somewhat back to normal. Sam came back to singing with them and he looked somewhat recovered. Not fully (Gabriel believed he would never fully get over Jessica’s death and the guilt of surviving when she didn’t), but he still looked better.

On Sam’s birthday party, the poor boy looked ready to give up. Gabriel tried everything to cheer him up and get him to stop drinking (at least alone) with little avail. Sam was drunk and Gabriel would feel awful the next morning, but right then, when Sam leaned in and kissed him, he didn’t stop him.

Somehow they made it to a room (Dean’s) and after making a quick job of getting rid of their clothes, they tumbled into the bed naked and proceed to grind against each other with frenesi. Sam’s kisses tasted of the alcohol he had been drinking, but there was something sweet beneath the initial taste that made Gabriel hungry for them. In the morning, he would feel selfish and guilty, but at the moment, he didn’t care.

He left a few minutes after Sam fell asleep. He had wanted to cuddle and spent the night like that, but had known it wasn’t a good idea. If he stayed, he wasn’t sure he would be able to leave. Besides, Sam was still mourning and would probably regret what they’d done in the morning. Better to leave then and not make things awkward.

A couple of days later, when Dean stormed into his bedroom, threatening him with murder, he was forced to go to Sam and talk about it. When Sam confessed he has been harboring feelings for him through all this time, he felt a little weak on the knees. He never thought- He wouldn’t have ever believed-

But he was scared. So very scared. Because he had always known Sam wouldn’t be just some random hook up or a casual relationship. He was the ONE.

So naturally he came up with the most idiotic plan ever, hoping Sam would dump his sorry ass right away. His agreement with Kali had worked so far; they’d both kept the press of their backs by pretending to date and seeing they hung around often enough, it was an easy lie to believe. To carry on with such farce would be terribly unfair to everyone involved, but especially to Sam. He thought the younger male would never agree to go with it.

But he did. For some reason, he agreed. And Gabriel felt awful and he wanted to come clean right away but he just couldn’t.

So they had carried on like that for 5 years. With each passing day, he fell more and more in love with Sam and he didn’t know anymore what to do. They couldn’t carry on like that, he knew, but what else was he supposed to do? How could Sam not see just how wrong he was for him, how could he allow all this deception? Didn’t he mind, didn’t he care? Didn’t he feel the same way Gabriel did? He had gotten himself into quite a big mess and he didn’t know how to get out of it.

Castiel, ever practical, suggested to just tell Sam the truth. Better explain that Gabriel was too scared of feeling too much than to let Sam believe he was more invested into the relationship than Gabriel was. Still, it didn’t seem right. After 5 years of lies and half-truths, could it be just that easy to solve it all?

And there was also the part of coming out of the proverbial closet. Gabriel remembered their parents reactions when Castiel came out, could he handle that? Castiel, regardless of being the youngest, had always been the strongest. He could deal with their parents rejection, he didn’t care what other people thought, but Gabriel wasn’t like that. He wasn’t as brave, or as strong or-

But he was in love. Could he be brave enough for the man he loved?

He wasn’t sure.

* * *

  


There is something about watching your younger brother settling down that makes you wonder why haven’t you. After Dean’s proposal, Castiel had been over the moon, his smile wide and bright and his enthusiasm a little overwhelming. Gabriel is happy for his brother, of course he is, but he aches for what he has and is now beginning to realize it’s fragile enough for him to lose it in the blink of an eye.

He can’t lose Sam. After all this time, he just can’t. It’s time to come clean, but no matter how many times he has rehearsed what he is going to say, it doesn’t sound right. it seems terribly selfish and he is starting to strongly suspect that this time Sam is actually going to dump his sorry ass.

What to do?

“Talk to him” Castiel suggests and Gabriel glares at him. It isn’t that easy! Why can nobody see it isn’t as easy as they think? How can he even begin to explain- “Gabe, Sam loves you. He’s angry and upset, but he loves you.”

So he gives in. He talks to his boyfriend. And Sam, wonderful, emphatic, loving Sam understands without him even having to really explain. He doesn’t get the whole picture, because there are parts of his past he hasn’t shared with him and that particular chapter of his life when his parents went completely crazy after Castiel came out it’s something he doesn’t like to remember. He still feels like a jerk for not standing by his brother.

Castiel doesn’t blame him, but it doesn’t mean Gabriel doesn’t blame himself. Castiel has forgiven him, but Gabriel certainly hasn’t forgiven himself.

Yet he and Sam make up. And although it takes yet another year, he comes out. Not because he wants the whole world to know about his sexuality, but because he wants the whole world to know that he’s in love with Sam Winchester and that he can’t imagine his life without him.

Sam’s smile makes everything worthwhile.

* * *

  


He’s not sure what he wants anymore. He likes their lifestyle right now, but he’s fairly certain that Sam is not as happy with it as he is. Retirement isn’t something he considered ever before, but it’s starting to sound like a good idea. Get away from the spotlight, enjoy the rest of his days with Sam without a worry.

It’s certainly appealing.

He glances at Sam, his eyes half closed and a few seconds away from falling asleep. He needs to speak now, otherwise he might never say it.

“I’m thinking of retiring” Sam stares at him wide eyed, like he can’t believe what he just heard. Gabriel can’t hold back a smirk; he enjoys surprising his boyfriend.

“What?”

“We could buy a small house in the country. Adopt a bunch of dogs. Maybe some kids, one day.” Sam loves dogs and he knows he wants children. He’s so loving and nurturing that he’ll make a great father. Gabriel isn’t sure about his own ability to be a parent, but he’ll try. For Sam, he’ll try his very best. “Somewhere away from everything.”

“Would- Would you really like that?”

He doesn’t answer right away. He has spent a very long time being unsure of what he wants, but now- “Isn’t that what you’d want?” He questions softly, staring at Sam in the eye and the younger male gulps audibly.

“I just want to be with you.” Sam’s answer takes his breath away. God, he loves him so much. He’s so… giving. He’s perfect for him and he has been so unfair to him. But he’ll make it right. He’ll make it up to him. He kisses him, trying to convey everything he feels into that kiss, but he knows it’s not enough.

“So do I” he confesses, scared beyond measure but equally relieved to finally speak the truth. “I love you.” And there it is; the words he has always been afraid to say. Sam looks at him as if he has just handed him the moon and he knows he did the right thing.

From now on, he bows to himself to always do right by Sam.

It’s the least he deserves.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I said in the begining, I'm planing on writting at least another one-shot (are they still called one-shots?) If I had enough time, I think I might like to convert this into an actual fic, but I don't think I have the time or the inspiration for it...  
> Anyway, if your interested, next part of the series will also be the begining of a series of "random song's inspired AU's", featuring the song "Nightingale" by Demi Lovato.  
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I intended for this to be the last installment of the Band!AU. I might add a second chapter, this time from Gabriel’s POV, but I don’t know for sure. Thoughts, anybody?  
> You can also find me in tumblr: ylc1.tumblr.com


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